Overcoming Heartbreak Pt. 2-Can I die from a broken heart?

The real reason why your broken heart is crushing your soul

If you’ve ever googled, “can I die from a broken heart”, you’re not alone. Would it surprise you to know this phrase has been googled millions of times? In fact, there are 1.52 million articles on it. That’s a lot of hurting hearts, don’t you think?

I remember the first time I felt that way. I was so broken-hearted, I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t breathe, let alone eat or sleep. My brain and most notably my heart collapsed inside itself. It was as if my heart was so broken, without consciously choosing to, my body was giving up. I couldn’t believe anything could hurt this bad. I was in so much pain, I felt like I was slowly dying.

Why does it hurt so bad?

 As I googled “can I die from a broken heart” I not only found that yes you can, I also realized I wasn’t alone. I realized there were so many people who also felt crushed by their loss and grief. I knew at the moment, I needed to figure out how not to die and to help others not die too. I know I say this a lot, but emotional pain is worse than any physical pain you’ll ever experience, and let’s face it, it lasts a lot longer too. This kind of pain makes it a lot harder to help yourself, let alone anyone else but I didn’t want to feel like this anymore. I was determined to help myself and figure out how to help others too. And my “me” search began.

 To tell you how to help yourself, I first need to tell you about the soul-crushing pain of the Broken Heart Syndrome. According to an article published by the Cleveland Clinic, the Broken Heart Syndrome is a group of symptoms similar to those of a heart attack, occurring in response to physical or emotional stress. Say what?!?! While the research I’ve done says dying is rare, most info says you can, which is really scary. The sad part of this is that not only does the loss of someone you loved hurt like hell, but the stress of it can also actually kill you. Crazy shit, right?!?

About the stress part. Yes, the grief is brutal, but it’s the stress of the unknown that actually fucks us up even more. With the loss of the person, comes the loss of a future, all the plans and eeks, your whole identity. So much of our identity gets wrapped up in our relationships. We think if I’m no longer so and so’s wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. then who am I? What purpose do I have, if I’m not with so and so and what am I good for? More importantly, who else will love me? And instead of just feeling the loss of a partner, we have lost ourselves in the process. No wonder why people are having heart attacks from their broken hearts. This stuff is stressful!

 So, what do you do?

First, get help. This is a great time to invest in a therapist, grief counselor, coach, or a support group.

Second, honor your pain. Remind yourself that this pain shows you loved someone very much and that you’re a loving person.

Next, allow yourself to be sad and cry. Crying is a beautiful thing. It releases chemicals that promote relaxation and brings you back to a balanced state. So please, cry and cry a lot.  Grief is tough and anyone that expects you to be all smiles should fuck off. Curl up in bed for a couple of days and do what you need to soothe your heart. This will do wonders for that stress.

And lastly, get up and come back to the world. Even if it’s slowly, we need you!

**if you feel in danger of harming yourself, please call 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You’re not alone.