5 Signs Your Breakup Was Traumatic
Relationships can be an amazing source of love and support. Though all too often there are those that totally blindside you. One minute you feel completely happy and in control. The next minute, you’re miserable and feel helpless to leave. You can’t exactly pinpoint the moment it became hurtful, but it’s been that way for a while, and now you can hardly recognize your life or yourself anymore.
INVALIDATING OUR PAIN
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say “something bad happened but I don’t think it’s called trauma” or “something hurt me deeply but I don’t know if you’d call it trauma”. It’s upsetting that so many people are invalidated in their pain to the point they don’t even know if they've been traumatized.
What’s worse, is that when this happens we lose the ability to believe in ourselves and our feelings anymore. Simply put, we stop trusting ourselves and outsource our innate wisdom. I’ve been there and it’s brutal.
When we continue to trust someone else’s wisdom more than we trust our own, we risk more damage to our self-worth and self-esteem.
TRAUMA IS PERSONAL
Trauma is a very personal thing. What is traumatic to one person, may not be traumatic to another. Also, how it affects each of us will always be different. In fact, two people can have the same experience, and yet both will have completely different feelings about it.
Being traumatized boils down to anything that feels like a severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury. Knowing that I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been traumatized by something or another in our lives.
Sadly, there are many times when the effects of the trauma affect us more severely. The pain becomes overwhelming and life becomes unmanageable.
SIGNS
It’s important to recognize the signs so you’re able to get help for yourself before the effects start to impact your life.
The most common signs you’ve been traumatized are:
1. Anxiety & Fear
2. Confusion
3. Intrusive thoughts of the event(s) that occur out of nowhere
4. Feeling numb or disconnected
5. Nightmares
While there are many other signs, these are, in my opinion, the most common in the early days of a traumatic relationship or breakup.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
It’s unfortunate that many people suffer extreme mental stress and pain because they don’t feel their pain is valid or as bad as someone else’s. When this happens, we often continue to grieve in silence and unnecessarily struggle alone. I promise you’re not.
It’s important to seek help when we’re in pain. It’s all relative and everything we feel is important and matters. You matter!
If you’re struggling or feel like you are in danger, there is help for you. The Trauma Resource Center Websites link to resources that can be helpful in finding the right support and always there is help for you right here.